"Comin' Off the High"

Comin' Off the High

by R. Y. KOLYVANOV

I gotta say, I love those drugs.

Those lovely drugs that make my heart race and my mind melt like velvety goo.

The ones that reach deep and activate my primordial self - The Beast.

The drugs that make me feel so high up that nothing seems impossible.

I love those drugs.

The only problem is those drugs wear off...

I come crashing back down to earth with a THUD that breaks most of my bones.

And then it's back to reality,

And I want to run.

I want to run from reality because it is nothing like

Those lovely, velvety drugs.

Reality hurts.

It's Raw.

Many times it leaves you in pain, with deep bleeding wounds.

And I don't want to deal.

I don't want to address the wounds.

I just want to medicate.

I just want to numb the pain.

But shoot, after the drugs wear off,

I'm back

And I realize it's exactly where I left off.

The wounds are still there.

And they're worse -

They're INFECTED.

For some the drugs are weed.

For some, it's alcohol.

For others its

Mushrooms

Acid

Ecstasy

Heroine

Meth

Countless others

But for me,

It's the sexual high.

THAT drug is pretty damn powerful,

And you don't have to go pick it up on the street,

'Cause it's IN you.

But I love that drug

Partly because I'm foolish

Partly because I don't know how else to cope with reality.

It says in the Good Book that with God, I shall not want.

That the Lord is my Shepherd.

That I can face the wounds and live without those drugs.

I want that.

I need that.

Surely one day,

I will not compromise.

Surely one day,

I will let go of my drug

And follow the Shepherd.