Tuesday, March 30, 2010


The following is a true confession of a man in our 423 program. It is printed here anonymously and with his permission. I honor this brother’s honesty and believe he is a man of God who, like countless other men, is stuck in an addictive cycle that he can overcome. The powerful pull and spellbinding lure of pornography can only be broken by the power of Christ working through other men in recovery from sexual sin. As we say in 423 Men, “You can overcome sexual sin, but you cannot do it alone.”

The words you are about to read are the heart-felt pleadings of a man who is defined not by his behaviors, but by Christ’s blood. He is learning to take full responsibility for his sin and, in so doing, proving the truth of God’s Word…

“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the
truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to
forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1st John 1.8-9


March 25, 2010

Hey guys,

I write to you as a confession of the relapse i just had, i saw it coming, and instead of going to bed i relied on my own strength, and followed every pattern i have laid out for myself, each step i knew where it was leading and it led me to look at porn. the pattern i wrote out in the book was flawless and so was my sticking to it...

Pray for me my brothers,

PS Be strong and if you see it coming, run.

This sucks.
(name withheld)

March 26, 2010

Men thank you for your words of encouragement and understanding,

The last week has been one of doubt and confusion, and it has led up to depression. i knew on the drive home that had i not gone to bed i would have been in for some trouble, i saw it coming and well ... history.

even while looking at that stuff i could not stand it, i was watching while feeling disgust with myself, it was such a strange set of emotions... today was all shame and guilt over what i had done, and shame in myself, i felt like i was back at square one. i listened to a Sermon titled "Getting through the Tough Stuff of Shame" by Chuck Swindoll. i cried mos the way through and cried some more later. I do not and cannot understand the amount of love God has in store and i am incapable of comprehending the extent of His grace. Wherever my sins increase His love and mercy is able to always go one step further and i am blown away. I suppose i will never be able to mention all the things he has forgiven me and the list grows bigger every day. as the song writer would say, How great is our God!

I do not mean to undermine the seriousness of my sins, i would not do that. But i am so thankful for His grace and love for You and I, be strong my brothers, i will pray for you please keep me in your prayers also as i continue this never ending battle.

Your brother,
(name withheld)


  1. I woke up this morning in an unusually good mood and a grateful heart. I'm grateful for this program and the men involved, but more importantly grateful to Christ for leading me to this place in my life.

    As I began to pray and thank Jesus for his undying love and patience, I got a piece of revelation which I thought I would share.

    I think as men and women we sometimes confuse love with lust. And I think one of the reasons for this is that we are not following the "order of love" that God gave us. He set up the following guide to how we are to love.

    1. Love God (with all your heart soul and mind)
    2. Love your family (especially your spouses)
    3. Love your friends (they are Gods gift to us)
    4. Some may add...Love your pets (debatable)

    That's where it ends. It doesn't say to love porn or another woman. It doesn't say to love money or "things". Just those things God has put in our lives.

    If we devoted enough of our love towards Jesus and these people, there wouldn't be anything left for us to love/lust over. Jesus alone, based on his love for us, deserves everything we have in terms of love. Those others in our life are blessings on top of the cake.

    And I don't think God placed himself on top because he's egotistical or self serving. Or makes us love our family because he knows how much they bug us and he likes to see us squirm.

    I think he created this order because He knows our blueprint. He's the designer of our Bodies, Souls, and Minds. He knows how they work and what they need. And he knows what kind of damage feeding on other things can do.

    If we look at our hearts and minds like we look at our body, we can begin to understand God's design. Just like eating junk food and not exercising is bad for our bodies, putting unhealthy things into our minds and not exercising our minds in a healthy way is also damaging. Reading the Bible isn't punishment for not being "good enough", it's spiritual exercise that strengthens our hearts and minds.

    Something to think about as we celebrate the most unselfish act in human history. Hope this helps at least one person.


  2. Sorry, I think I posted this wrong. I wasn't making a comment on someone's sharing, I was just posting something that came to me this morning.